Section 9-106 of the Family Law Article of the Maryland Code provides that the Court may, in any custody or visitation proceeding, include a notice provision for intent to relocate in its order.  It is not automatic.  You have to ask for it.

The provision is so that the non-custodial parent has a chance to go to court and seek a change in custody or visitation.

The problem up to now has been that the notice period is 45 days and that has not been enough time to obtain a hearing date.  So the move usually has already happened by the time you get in front of a judge.  The home has been sold.  The kids have been enrolled in a new school.

So Section 9-106 has been revised, effective October 1 of this year, to provide for a 90 day notice period.  And if you file a petition within 20 days of receiving notice, the court will give you an expedited hearing.

The first image broadcast by network television was a picture of Felix the Cat.  I remember watching Felix on tv when I was a kid.  He had a Magic Bag of Tricks and whenever he got stumped by a problem, he would reach into his bag and pull out some tool or device that would help him solve the problem.

I wish I had a Magic Bag of Tricks in real life.  A lawyer can do a lot of things, but sometimes the tools in my toolbox are limited.  Clients look to their lawyers to solve all sorts of problems.  But first you have to have a problem that the law recognizes as a problem.  For example, I wrote recently that not every marital agreement is recognized by law as an enforceable contract.

The law does not provide a remedy for every wrong.  There is no legal tool that will turn your difficult spouse into a nicer, more reasonable and responsible person.   I can get alimony and child support and property, but I probably cannot recover damages for the hurt you felt during your marriage.  The court can give you a visitation schedule, but it can’t make your child want to visit with you.  I can’t make your spouse settle on your terms and I can’t make opposing counsel return my calls if they don’t want to.

As a mediator said to one of my clients, “I only have a pen, not a magic wand.”

TGC Attorneys James J. Gross and Nelson A. Garcia will speak at the Commission for Women tonight at 7:00 pm on Negotiating a Separation Agreement with Your Spouse.

The seminar will include the advantages of an agreement over a contested divorce, what to include in an agreement, tips and tactics, strategies for negotiation, the different stages of negotiation and different negotiation techniques.

The cost is $20.  Call (240) 777-8300 for more information.  The Commission for Women is located at 401 N. Washington Street, Rockville, Maryland.

Paul Simon, in his famous song, told us there must be fifty ways to leave your lover. I wonder if he counted the two new ways we saw on television this week:

1.  Use Your Reality TV Show.

Monday night, John and Kate Gosselin announced their separation and intention to divorce on cable tv.  This came amid months of tabloid speculation concerning extramarital affairs.  The show got its highest ratings ever.  The parties say they are going to split custody of their eight children equally.  The children will stay in the house and the parties will alternate living there in what is called a nesting arrangement.

2.  Call a Press Conference.

On Wednesday, Mark Sanford, 49, governor of South Carolina, held a news conference and announced that he had been unfaithful to his wife.  He had been missing for several days and told his staff that he was going hiking on the Appalachian Trail.  However, a newspaper report confronted him in Atlanta getting off a plan arriving from Buenos Aires, Argentina.  His public confession came just before the newspaper broke the story of his mistress in Argentina.

The Learning Channel is a cable television network in Silver Spring, Maryland, established in 1980 with an educational mission.

Watching Jon and Kate Gosselin is giving us all an education in the difficulties of marriage.  The reality tv show has become a sensation in its fifth season as the husband and wife raising eight children are suddenly becoming unhappily married before our eyes.  There are rumors of infidelity on the part of both spouses.

Ratings are going through the roof as we all watch the marriage disassemble like a car wreck you can’t take your eyes off of.

“Couples squabble. Dealing with eight kids is an overwhelming task,” says Laurie Goldberg of TLC.  “The show will do well as it remains authentic and relatable.”

The couple is under contract for 39 more episodes, so even if their marriage breaks down, we might get to watch them proceed through a divorce.

It may not be a good idea to try to increase child support during a recession.  House Bill 1401 which would have increased Maryland Child Support Guidelines, for the first time in 20 years, did not make it out of committee.  The House Judiciary Committee plans do a “summer study” of the bill.

“We will reserve our comments for the court.”  – Lois Finkelstein in “NBA Star Bosh Bashed in Suit for Child Support” by Caryn Tamber of The Daily Record, March 26, 2009.

Nelson Garcia will be on “News Nine” with Andrea Roane (WUSA 9 TV) to discuss the effect of taxes and the economy on divorce, at 9:00 a.m. Friday, March 27, 2009.

James J. Gross was interviewed by KMOX Radio on “Divorce in a Recession”, March 2, 2009.

While a lot of divorces these days involve dividing debt rather than assets, there are still a few marital estates left with wealth and complexity.

When the parties get stuck on one item, like jewelry or a car or cash, one idea for breaking the impasse is to make a gift to the children.  This can be either outright or through a will or a trust or a contractual provision to be executed at some time in the future.

For 2009, you can give up to $13,000, or $26,000 for a married couple, to each recipient without incurring the federal gift tax

A bill introduced in the Maryland House of Delegates that would revise and increase child support guidelines is winding its way through the legislature. The guidelines are based on the statistical estimated cost of raising children in 1998 and have not been updated for 20 years. The bill had its first reading on February 25, 2009.

Story #1.  A young man learns that a woman he is dating is pregnant.  Although he is not in love with her, he marries her because that is the right thing to do.  He manages to complete college and finds a job with the government.  Although he is a good provider for his family, his wife constantly berates him, argues with him, criticizes him, and withholds marital relations from him.  He tries to talk to her about their marital strife, and asks her to go to marital counseling,  but it is hopeless.  In desperation, he seeks solace elsewhere and begins a relationship with another woman.  He and the other woman are truly in love and he has a child with the other woman.  He takes on a second job to support his child from the second relationship.  He tries hard not to disrupt his marriage but after several years of trying, he cannot take it any more, and asks his wife for a divorce.  He is the father and sole support of two young children and he should not be punished for trying to do the right thing.

Story #2.  A young man learns that a woman he is dating is pregnant.  He marries her.  He then begins a life of deceit.  Although he has a child with her, he cheats on her.  He goes away on trips, seldom spends time with his wife and child, and finally impregnates another woman.  He begins a double life with his married family and his girlfriend and child on the side.  He takes money from his married family to support his girlfriend.  After several years, his wife finally discovers his infidelity and files for divorce.  This man is a liar and a coward and has dissipated his families marital assets.

If you were the judge, how would you divide assets and determine support in these two cases?  Would it be different in each case?

The interesting thing is that both scenarios are the same case.  The first is the story told by the husband’s attorney and the second is the story told by the wife’s attorney.  Which story will the judge buy into?  The judge will make a decision because that is what we pay the judges to do.  But real life is not always so black and white as the judge’s final order is.  There are always shades of gray and some truth in both stories.