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Divorce Lawyers

Thyden Gross and Callahan LLPCounselors and Attorneys at Law

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Maryland Divorce Legal Crier

News and comments about divorce, child support, child custody, alimony, equitable property distribution, father’s rights, mother’s rights, family law, laws on divorce and other legal information in Maryland.

Archive for the ‘Divorce Advice’ Category

Thinking About Divorce

Thursday, December 17th, 2015

More than half the married people in the U.S. have thought about divorcing their spouse according to a survey by researchers at Brigham Young University.

However, as the researchers wrote in their study, “thoughts about divorce as just that — thoughts, not concrete actions, decisions, or even deep doubts.”

Thoughts about6 divorce are not only common in marriages, they can actually have a beneficial effect. The researchers say thoughts about divorce can be a needed wake-up call to work on your marriage and promote positive change.

Are You Being Gaslighted?

Wednesday, November 25th, 2015

gasl2Every so often I make my kids and my wife watch a one of my favorite old time movies like Citizen Kane or Casa Blanca. They usually raise eyebrows at my suggestions and say something smart alecky like, “Is it in black and white?” But they participate in the “what did you learn from this?” discussion that follows.

I think the next one will be Gaslight, the 1944 film, starring Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. In the movie, the husband tries to drive his wife crazy using various deceptions including turning down the gaslights in the house.

The term is now used to describe similar emotional abuse and manipulations in marriages and relationships. Even smart people are susceptible to gas lighting. It occurs when you allow the other persons voice to outweigh your own memory and perceptions.

Divorce Quotes

Friday, October 2nd, 2015

“Let miracles replace all grievances.” — A Course in Miracles

Divorce Quotes

Friday, April 17th, 2015

“Wherever a new disagreement emerges, so does new hope for enlightenment, on both sides of the fence.” — Mike Dooley, Notes from the Universe

Sweatpants Are Number One Reason for Divorce

Wednesday, March 25th, 2015

Eva Mendes says the number one reason for divorce is sweatpants.  That got a lot of pushback on social media but I think I know what she meant.  Sweatpants is just a symbol for a way of life.

In the sixties, some men grew their hair long.  Others objected to that.  But it wasn’t really the long hair they were objecting to.  They were really objecting to the hippie lifestyle and liberal belief system that long hair represented.

Think of a complicated set of beliefs as a suitcase.  Then use another word as a handle to carry that suitcase around.  For example, lawyers use the handle res ipsa loquitur meaning “the thing speaks for itself”.  This is a presumption that helps prove something by circumstantial evidence.  An example is if you see a broken flower pot on the sidewalk and a ledge above with flower pots, you can presume the flower pot fell off the ledge even though you didn’t see it happen.  But that’s too complicated to explain to the judge every time, so a lawyer might just say “res ipsa” and the judge knows what the lawyer means.

I think that Ms. Mendes was using sweatpants as a shortcut to say that you have to work at a marriage.  She meant you can’t just have an I-don’t-care sweatpants attitude about your relationship.  You have to bring a yoga pants attitude to your marriage.  That means you need to care about your spouse and your marriage.   And that means doing things like saying “I love you”, showing affection, talking, and being interested in their life.

Divorce Quotes

Friday, March 13th, 2015

There is no negotiating with crazy.  — Brian Perskin, NY Divorce Lawyer

Pre-Divorce Checklist

Friday, February 6th, 2015

The family law attorneys of Gower & Bluck put together this helpful infographic of ten things you need to do before you file for divorce.

How to Repair Your Credit After Divorce

Thursday, December 18th, 2014

The good folks at Top Ten Reviews have published a guide on how to repair your credit after various financial disasters.

Chapter 3 covers divorce.

Best of all, the guide is free.

A Perfect Storm

Thursday, December 4th, 2014

There is a perfect winter storm of depression brewing.  Got the blues?  You are not alone.  There are good reasons you may be feeling sad right now.

Holiday Depression

You may get depressed at this time of year because it reminds you of bad experiences of past holidays.  Or you may get depressed because you have had better holidays in the past.   Or you just may be comparing this holiday to an imagined holiday like the ones in the Norman Rockwell paintings or the happy holidays you think your friends are enjoying.

Seasonal Affective Disorder

At this time of year I’m driving to the office in the dark and driving home from work in the dark.  The days are shorter.  There is less sunlight.  We feel good when we are in the sun.  We feel bad when there is a lack of sunlight.

Divorce Depression

It is usual for people separating and divorcing to feel depressed.  The future is uncertain and scary.  Finances are usually a mess. You may be heartbroken.

So, what can you do, if all three events are hitting you at the same time?  Ride out the storm.  It will take time.  You will have grief.  And pain.  But eventually, the storm will be over, and your new life will make all this seem like a distant memory.

Who Is Right and Who Is Wrong?

Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

While driving to the office this morning, I turned on “The Kane Show” on Hot99.5 FM.  Kane invited callers to tell him and his entourage about a relationship dispute and they would decide who was right and who was wrong.

What a great idea!  I have often said that people in relationships have different agendas and they need a good conflict resolution system.

Marriage counselors can help, but they cost money, and frequently tell you that you are both right (in alternative universes?), which may be true, but is not very satisfying.

Divorce is the ultimate conflict resolution system, but it has some serious drawbacks.  It’s expensive and time-consuming.  Sometimes the judge doesn’t tell you who was right and who was wrong.  And even when the judge does tell you, the judge frequently gets it wrong.

So we have decided, as a public service, that you can post your relationship conflicts in the comments section, and we will tell you who is right and who is wrong.  We reserve the right to be arbitrary and capricious, but at least it won’t cost you an arm and a leg.

 
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