Discounting Words
Words are the tools of a lawyer. Words can be used to persuade and convince. Words can be used to build relationships or harm relationships.
Discounting is the label I give to words that harm relationships. It means you show by your words you do not respect the other person or their opinions and beliefs. In fact you disrespect them and have contempt for them.
You can listen to, and acknowledge, an opposing point of view without agreeing to it. Or you can discount it. Here is an example of discounting in a letter I received from an opposing counsel in a divorce case recently.
“Jim: This needs to stop. You are doing a disservice to your client. This is beyond ridiculous. If your client would stop this nonsense, sign the agreement I sent last night she would get a check the next day and this would be done. Instead, you are making changes that make no sense, conflict with each other and costing my client (not to mention yours) unnecessary fees. I will be tied up all day Monday and will be leaving the office early, out of the office on Tuesday and am leaving at 5:30 today and have deadlines I have to meet before then.”
Divorce lawyers have to develop a fairly thick skin in the heated exchanges of a litigation practice. But do you really think that a letter like this ever persuades anyone to do what you want them to do? Our response was to file suit. Discounting never works. As the Good Book says, A kind word turneth away wrath.
Tags: counsel, Divorce Lawyers, litigation, Relationships, words
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