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Thyden Gross and Callahan LLPCounselors and Attorneys at Law



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Fighting Fire with Fire

A friend of mine was going through a divorce. Her husband hired a very aggressive attorney. Alright, let’s not mince words. He hired a shark.

My friend, against my advice, decided to fight fire with fire. She thought she needed an equally aggressive attorney to protect her from her husband’s attorney. So she hired a barracuda.

The attorneys argued with each other, wrote lots of scathing letters, gathered documents, conducted mean spirited conferences and telephone conferences.

After six months, legal bills amounted to thirty thousand dollars on each side. The parties had made no progress. They were still at an impasse.

My friend was running out of money. In desperation, she called her husband and said, “This is getting us nowhere. Let’s get rid of our attorneys and settle our case ourselves.”

And that is what they did.

She learned the hard way. Fighting fire with fire only leads to conflagration. It makes more sense to fight fire with water.


2 Responses to “Fighting Fire with Fire”

  1. Stephen Worrall Says:

    Great post and a good lesson for our clients! I have posted your article on mt Georgia Family Law Blog at

    Steve Worrall

  2. Maggie Says:

    I totally agree; this happened with my divorce. We were in mediation and everything was amicable and we were each going to retain a lawyer just to eyeball the separation agreement and make sure everything was ok. He hooked up with a notorious shark, a guy who, as my lawyer put it “turns a simple mediation into a $50,000 divorce case” and the guy tried to do exactly that. All the sudden my formerly non-confrontational ex was totally aggressive and horrible, threatening a big custody case out of nowhere. My lawyer advised me to just throw some money at the ex–she said it would cost me $20,000+ to fight a custody case so the best thing to do was try to just avert the whole thing by offering to just give him that money. It worked and, as bitter as I sometimes am about what I gave up–I ended up getting WAY less than I was entitled to–it was still worth it to me to have spared my kids the ordeal of a custody case. It did end up costing me as much as the custody case would have cost, but it did the trick and let me settle the divorce on my own terms instead of the terms of the shark.

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