“de•ca•thect:  Pronunciation: (de-”ku-thekt’), verb, to withdraw one’s feelings of attachment from (a person, idea, or object), as in anticipation of a future loss:  He decathected from her in order to cope with their impending divorce.”  Random House Unabridged Dictionary, Copyright © 1997, by Random House, Inc., on Infoplease.

Divorce is painful and it helps to have a word to attach to all those painful feelings.  I found this word to be useful in describing the process of healing and letting go that occurs over time in a divorce.

How do you decathect?  Here are a couple of tips from cognitive therapy.

1.  Whenever you think of your ex, associate them with something you find unpleasant or revolting.  Imagine them covered with garbage with flies buzzing around.

2.  Wear a rubber band around your wrist.  Whenever you think of your ex, snap the rubber band and say to yourself “Stop!”

These may seem silly, but keep doing it and over time, you will decathect.

Tags: cognitive therapy, decathect, Divorce

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This entry was posted on Friday, March 6th, 2009 at 3:00 pm and is filed under Divorce, Divorce Advice, Emotions. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.