The first image broadcast by network television was a picture of Felix the Cat.  I remember watching Felix on tv when I was a kid.  He had a Magic Bag of Tricks and whenever he got stumped by a problem, he would reach into his bag and pull out some tool or device that would help him solve the problem.

I wish I had a Magic Bag of Tricks in real life.  A lawyer can do a lot of things, but sometimes the tools in my toolbox are limited.  Clients look to their lawyers to solve all sorts of problems.  But first you have to have a problem that the law recognizes as a problem.  For example, I wrote recently that not every marital agreement is recognized by law as an enforceable contract.

The law does not provide a remedy for every wrong.  There is no legal tool that will turn your difficult spouse into a nicer, more reasonable and responsible person.   I can get alimony and child support and property, but I probably cannot recover damages for the hurt you felt during your marriage.  The court can give you a visitation schedule, but it can’t make your child want to visit with you.  I can’t make your spouse settle on your terms and I can’t make opposing counsel return my calls if they don’t want to.

As a mediator said to one of my clients, “I only have a pen, not a magic wand.”

A client asked me this morning if she could just write a letter to the judge telling her side of the story.  The answer is no.  The rules require certain formalities and a letter will usually be returned by the clerk or the judge with a polite note.

Our law comes from England where each cause of action had a formality which had to be pled specifically.  Today we have notice pleading which allows for more leeway, but there are still many vestiges  of formal pleading left.

For example, one of my partners, John Thyden, once filed a Motion to Crave Oyer in a lawsuit.

I happened to be talking to his opposing counsel about another case one day when the conversation strayed to my partner’s motion.  He told me that the lawyers in his firm had to look up “crave oyer” in Black’s Law Dictionary to see what it meant.

It means to demand to see a copy of the document being sued upon, like a contract, a promissory note or a deed.

From then on, said the attorney, Thyden was referred to at that law firm as the “Crave Oyer Lawyer”.