“My wife ran off with my IPad2 and I miss it.” — Apple Shareholder

A kind word turneth away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. –Proverbs 15:1

“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.” – Benjamin Franklin

“Am I married, you ask boss?  Wife, kids, grandkids, mortgage-the whole catastrophe!” — Zorba the Greek

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
- Woody Allen

“By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

Socrates

“Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.” –Oscar Wilde

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Rodney Dangerfield