Scott Dekraai, 41, allegedly walked into the beauty salon where his ex-wife worked and killed her and seven other people yesterday in Seal Beach, California.  They were involved in a bitter custody battle over their 8 year old son.

I think there is a rage reaction lurking in all of us.  Most of us keep it under control.   But emotions are strong and they can overwhelm logical thinking.

I’ve had clients who have let their anger involve them in domestic violence.  I’ve had clients who have directed their anger inwardly and tried to commit suicide.  When I asked them why, they said something like “I don’t know.  I just snapped.”

My advice?  No matter what happens in your divorce, get control of your anger.  And have a big flashing neon sign in the back of your mind that says “The best revenge is living well.”

In November of last year, Frederick Wood, 29, of Maryland, was involved in a domestic altercation with his 27 year old girlfriend.  The police report noted extensive injuries to her.

Wood was charged with second-degree assault, a misdemeanor.  His case came to trial on March 10 before Judge Darrell Russell, Jr., District Court Judge for Baltimore County, Maryland.

When the case was called, Wood’s attorney asked that the trial be taken off the calendar because the couple intended to marry.  The wife could then invoke spousal privilege which would prevent her from testifying against her husband and the case would be dismissed.

The judge refused but he did declare a break in the trial that day so they could obtain a marriage license.  When they returned to the courtroom with the license, Judge Russell married them in his chambers.  He found the defendant not guilty.

Judge Russell has been reassigned to chambers by the Chief Judge, and the House of Ruth said it  intends to make a complaint to the Maryland Commission on Judicial Disabilities.

Additional Coverage:

Maryland Daily Record
11 News I-Team
WPTZ.com
ABA Journal

Anuradha Das said her husband, Vincent Das, made her stay up all night in order to listen to him, isolated her from her friends and family, hitting, pinching and pulling her hair, and taunted her about what she would do when a protective order expired.   Anuradha filed for divorce in Maryland based on cruelty.  There was a trial and the divorce was granted.

Vincent appealed saying his wife had not proven cruelty as grounds for her divorce.  He claimed his conduct never endangered her life, person, or health, or would have otherwise caused her to feel apprehension of bodily suffering.

He cited older cases in Maryland which say that marital neglect, rudeness of manner, and the use of profane and abusive language do not constitute cruelty.  A divorce cannot be granted merely because the parties have lived together unhappily as a result of unruly tempers and marital wranglings, sallies of passion, harshness or rudeness.

However, there were several incidents of domestic violence over the history of the marriage including a one year protective order against Vincent.   Consequently, the Maryland Court of Special Appeals found that Vincent’s conduct far exceeded mere sallies of passion, harshness or rudeness.  It threatened Anuradha’s physical and emotional well-being.  The Court upheld the judgment of divorce on grounds of cruelty.  Das v. Das, 133 Md. App.1, 754 A.2d 441 (2000).

Nelson A. Garcia will present Divorce Legal Seminar in Spanish at the Commission for Women’s Counseling and Career Center in Rockville Maryland on October 13, 2009, from 6:00 to 9:00 pm.  This seminar will help you to learn the different aspects of the process of separation and divorce. You will learn how to choose an attorney, how property is distributed, and how to get a restraining order, in case of domestic violence. How to obtain custody and alimony for your children will also be discussed. At the end of the session, you will have the opportunity to ask questions.  The cost is $30.  Here is the seminar announcement in Spanish.

SUS DERECHOS LEGALES EN EL DIVORCIO:

RESUMEN GENERAL Y TEMAS RELACIONADOS CON LOS HIJOS

Martes, 13 de Octubre, 2009, 6-9 pm

Este seminario, presentado en español, le ayudará a conocer los diferentes aspectos del proceso de separación y divorcio. Se discutirá cómo escoger un abogado, cómo conseguir separación de bienes y la forma de obtener una orden de protección en casos de violencia doméstica. También se discutirá cómo obtener la custodia de sus hijos y asistencia para su manutención. Al cierre de la sesión, habrá oportunidad para preguntas y respuestas.  Costo: $30

Nelson A. García, a family law attorney in the firm of Thyden Gross and Callahan, LLP has volunteered for several years at the Commission for Women as a presenter.  Mr. Garcia also volunteers in free legal clinics at a number of organizations including CASA de Maryland in domestic violence, child custody and divorce matters.  He received his J.D. from Boston College Law School and his B.A. in English and Business co-majors from Florida State University.  He is a member of the Maryland and District of Columbia Bar and is currently Secretary of the Maryland Hispanic Bar Association and a member of its Legislative Committee.

After three years of bitter divorce litigation, Richard Shenkman-Tyler, 60, an advertising executive in South Windsor, Connecticut, took his ex-wife, Nancy Tyler, an attorney, hostage yesterday.  Through a news reporter, he demanded a priest to give her last rights and requested a judge to remarry them.  He told police there were explosives in the house.  Finally after setting the house on fire, Shenkman surrendered to police last night.  Nancy Tyler escaped unharmed.  More details.