There are a lot of hurt feelings in divorce.  These frequently hinder settlement negotiations and mediation.  Sometimes you can’t get to the financial resolution because you haven’t dealt with the hurt feelings.

“Many mediations are centrally about a damaged relationship,” writes Dr. Carl Schneider.  “Trust has been broken. When offered with integrity and timing, an apology can be a critically important moment in mediation. An apology, when acknowledged, can restore trust.”

I have followed Dr. Schneider’s advice in mediations and encouraged clients to give sincere, ritual and witnessed apologies.  It doesn’t always work, but when it does, it has moved mountains in some cases.  It is surprising to see how an appropriate apology can melt resistance and open doors that have previously been closed.