Karen Stewart, President of Fairway Divorce Solutions, says that in addition to splitting up your CD’s in a divorce, you are also forced to cut off an entire social network that may have been nurtured for years.

“Within a circle of friends, you expect certain people to align with you,” Stewart is quoted as saying in a Toronto Sun article by Tanya Engberg.  “Friends can’t be in both camps, but often they don’t know what to do. Their normal stance is, ‘I think it’s best if I stay out of it,’ but that’s not the way it works. Your family and close friends can’t stay out of it.”

Divorce is an entire life overhaul.  In addition to the end of the romance, you have to accept the loss of your former spouse’s family members and friends that you have known for years.

“For me, I closed that chapter and started all over,” says a 41-year-old divorced father with two children.  “I maintained friendships for a short while, but it became uncomfortable. They do take sides, no matter what they tell you. Parents are always going to support their own child. If you want to start over, you have to cut ties with mutual friends and say goodbye to the in-laws.”

Stewart says that saying goodbye is tough, but inevitable.

You probably didn’t expect to be divorced or separated on Thanksgiving at this time in your life.  You probably feel like saying, “Gee, thanks for another #@*!! personal growth experience.”  Well, instead of staying at home feeling sorry for yourself and ordering pizza for Thanksgiving, here are some ideas to help you make it through the long holiday weekend.

The first thing you have to do is get into action.  Move your body and the head will follow.  Go for a walk or a jog.  Get to the gym and start losing that marriage fat.  Start a dance class or take tennis lessons.  Any activity is good that will get you moving.  Don’t think about it.  Just do it.  Force yourself.

The next thing to do is build a support network.  This can be your friends, relatives, religious leader, neighbor or therapist.  Join a support group.  Participate in online support groups.  It may seem to you that you are the only person in the world going through a divorce, but you are not alone.

Now, get outside of your troubles.  Find someone with problems bigger than yours and help them.  Volunteer to feed the homeless for Thanksgiving.  Visit a nursing home or a hospital.

Invite some friends over for a potluck supper.  Everything is attitude.  Stay positive and strong and have a great Thanksgiving.  Leave a comment if you have an activity or idea that helped you survive Thanksgiving when going through a divorce.