A few years ago one of our lawyers described our typical divorce case like this.  A couple marries, buys a house, divorces three years later, sells the house and each spouse walks away with $50,000.  If they weren’t married, they would be happy with this partnership and call it successful, instead of hating each other.

But in this market, housing prices have plummeted to values sometimes below the balance due on the mortgage.  Divorce negotiations have turned from how to split up the sales proceeds to who gets stuck with the house.

Even when one spouse agrees to take over the underwater house and the mortgage payments, the other spouse may have to keep their name on the mortgage which may make it difficult to buy another house.

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WashingtonPost.Com received over a thousand comments on its front page story Sunday by Anne Hull about Laura Steins, 47, of Harrison, New York.

Steins got the $2.5 million dollar house in her divorce and $75,000 a year in child support.  She makes $150,000 a year plus a bonus at her job as a MasterCard VP.  She also has about $50,000 a year in investment income.  That’s over $300,000 a year.

But it costs her $8,000 to $10,000 a month to keep up her 4,000 square foot house on three acres. Her property taxes are $35,000 a year, the nanny is $40,000, the gardener is $500 a month and there is someone to plow the driveway in the winter.

“A), I couldn’t sell the house right now,” she says, citing the slow real estate market. “B), this is where my kids go to school. And C), it’s where my job is,” says Steins.

A lot of comments, some from people who make closer to what the nanny makes than what Steins makes, were not sympathetic to her plight.

Having trouble selling your home?  Here’s a new incentive you might want to try.

In Spain, a real estate company is offering a free divorce if you buy a home from them, according to UPI.Com.

Geimsa realtors in Huelva, Spain, says this deal is for you if you are putting off your divorce because you can’t afford to move.

“A divorce is very expensive,” says Vanesa Contioso of Geimsa. “So we are offering new clients the free use of our lawyers to handle the process.”

A big mistake that a lot of people make in divorce is trying to keep the house according to an article by Lew Sichelman in the Chicago Tribune.  Indeed in Maryland the court can grant use and possession of the family residence for up to three years from the date of divorce to the parent who gets custody of the minor children.  In other words, keep the kids, keep the house.

But Kelly Lise Murray, lawyer and real estate agent in Nashville, says if you must keep the house, you should obtain an appraisal, a third-party inspection, a termite inspection, and a title search for hidden liens.  Murray also says you should consider the true cost of home ownership, which may include things like lawn care, homeowner’s association fees, replacement of appliances, maintenance and upkeep.

Murray says people tend to underestimate the “ghosts” that go along with keeping the house. The place is often so filled with memories, both good and bad, she says, that “it’s not the family home anymore. It’s a huge lodestone.  If you’re still linked through the house, then you’re not really divorced.”