January is usually the month when the most divorces are filed during the year.

“It may be because the holidays are over or that people want a fresh start at the New Year,” says Dr. Barton Goldsmith, a family therapist in California.

Some people want to get through the holidays with a minimum of disruption to the families. Others are hoping their partner will change.  When nothing happens at the end of the old year or start of the new year, they view divorce as the solution.

Dr. Goldsmith has good advice on breaking the news to the children, gently and slowly.  He also tells you not to beat yourself up too much with would-a, could-a and should-a during the difficult divorce process.

“There may not be a perfect moment,” he says.

If you have tried counseling, communicating, and compromising, divorce may be your next best option.

“Are divorces going down in these hard times?”  The question came from a woman at one of the holiday parties upon learning I was a divorce lawyer.

I allowed as how many couples are opting to ride out a bad marriage because they can’t sell the house, or they can’t afford the lawyer fees, or their income won’t cover two households.

“But others,” I said, “find that now is just the right time to get rid of an unwanted spouse.”

“What others?” she inquired of me.

“Why wealthy husbands, for one, with businesses, stock, options and pensions down about 50%, may find this a good time to buy out their spouse for cash at these lower prices, expecting an eventual recovery.”

“And trophy wives, in the face of layoffs and rumors of layoffs, may decide the right time to leave is while their husbands are still employed.”

“I never thought of that,” she nodded, and wandered off to get some more punch.