Story #1.  A young man learns that a woman he is dating is pregnant.  Although he is not in love with her, he marries her because that is the right thing to do.  He manages to complete college and finds a job with the government.  Although he is a good provider for his family, his wife constantly berates him, argues with him, criticizes him, and withholds marital relations from him.  He tries to talk to her about their marital strife, and asks her to go to marital counseling,  but it is hopeless.  In desperation, he seeks solace elsewhere and begins a relationship with another woman.  He and the other woman are truly in love and he has a child with the other woman.  He takes on a second job to support his child from the second relationship.  He tries hard not to disrupt his marriage but after several years of trying, he cannot take it any more, and asks his wife for a divorce.  He is the father and sole support of two young children and he should not be punished for trying to do the right thing.

Story #2.  A young man learns that a woman he is dating is pregnant.  He marries her.  He then begins a life of deceit.  Although he has a child with her, he cheats on her.  He goes away on trips, seldom spends time with his wife and child, and finally impregnates another woman.  He begins a double life with his married family and his girlfriend and child on the side.  He takes money from his married family to support his girlfriend.  After several years, his wife finally discovers his infidelity and files for divorce.  This man is a liar and a coward and has dissipated his families marital assets.

If you were the judge, how would you divide assets and determine support in these two cases?  Would it be different in each case?

The interesting thing is that both scenarios are the same case.  The first is the story told by the husband’s attorney and the second is the story told by the wife’s attorney.  Which story will the judge buy into?  The judge will make a decision because that is what we pay the judges to do.  But real life is not always so black and white as the judge’s final order is.  There are always shades of gray and some truth in both stories.